I’ve been busy creating and then running a brand new message board for goinggraylookinggreat.com. Then, I got my new (1st) iPhone. So my free ‘tech time’ has been devoted to those, not here.
My bad. 
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I stepped on the scale. I figured I wouldn’t be able to fully, accurately access my progress…without knowing my (newest) starting point.
Ugh. WAY more than I thought. 20 more than in early October.
I suck.
So much.
That said, I can and will do this. Each time I do this, and each time I FAIL to keep it off, I learn more about myself; what works, what doesn’t. I can tweak my program to make it even more successful this time.
What I am learning to accept is that this IS for life. I simply cannot eat what I WANT, and keep a healthy weight. I can choose to either struggle with that for life, or accept it. I have never fully accepted it. I always have rebelled against that, and that’s when I gain back. I have to accept that at 60, I simply can’t eat willy nilly whatever I want, whenever I want to.
Nope, I can’t. It isn’t even a matter of portion control. It’s a matter of accepting the reality of my body’s station in life.
I will have to ‘watch my weight’ forever. That said, I’ll have a longer ‘forever’ if I do so. Simple as that.
So I have a new starting point. A hideous one, but not as bad as it’s been. Sadly, close, but not quite. So the fact I caught myself before I reached a new high weight is a good thing, right? 
Have a great day, and stay true to your goals.
p.s. Watching biggest loser this season. Why did no one tell me about that hunka hunka new trainer? :: drools :: The show is worth watching for him alone.
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Let’s face it, those of us who overeat, excessively…have masochistic tendencies. We ARE overeating ourselves to death.
The thing is, we need to face that. We need to ‘go within’ to figure out why we -at least at some level- don’t think we are worthy of being healthy, living a longer live, LOOKING GOOD. Until we do, until we can fix that, can fix our knee-jerk reactions to saying “I don’t care about the health consequences, I want it now”….we can’t break the chain. We can’t get healthy, permanently. Sure, we can get into mindsets for a length of time and lose weight, but keep it off permanently? Nope. Not until we address this.
That’s my heavy thought for the day.
Have a great day, and stay true to your goals!
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As I prepare for healthy changes in 2012, it’s a natural time for some inner reflection. Something I haven’t done much of, in the past six months.
I can see that every time I successfully diet and lose weight, to get there, I have to push down my inner little girl. The one who whines and demands everything good tasting and fun in life. As I walk maturely through the landmine of losing weight….I give up the spontaneity of enjoying indulgent food. The more successful I am at the LOSING of weight, the better I get at it.
But does the little girl ever truly die off? Does she ever give up on me for good? Unfortunately not. If anything, I think she stands in the corner, like a petulant little child, holding her breath, until I finally release her, and she all but explodes spitting out all that pent up air. And the ‘just a little of this or that’ becomes months of nonstop eat-whatever-I-want. It’s like she’s held it in and now she has to make up for lost time.
Well clearly, that is out and out yo-yo eating, and of course it’s not sane or healthy. The thing is, if I go back on the diet(s) to lose weight, the little girl has to get pushed back out of the way. Yet again. Wash, rinse, repeat. It’s a cycle that I’ve played over and over for the better part of 60 years.
So how to change it? How to get to a healthy weight, and keep it, without feeling like the rest of my life lays ahead of me like one gigantic sacrifice? And I have to tell you, the older you get, as your life span is shorter in front of you than behind you, the desire and ability to sacrifice gets slimmer and slimmer (no pun intended.) It becomes ‘life is too short to always say no’…and yet, cruelly ironically, life IS too short if you always say yes.
So how to balance? How to let the inner little girl get some indulgences, so she’s not always petulant, and yet still lose then maintain?
I honestly don’t know. I’ve read a ton on the subject, tried most of it, and still haven’t been successful at it.
I know it’s only one day at a time. If I start to look at it as ‘for the rest of my life’, the little girl’s head explodes.
So I gotta think on this. See if I can find some way to do a better balancing act.
That’s where I’m at.
Have a great day and stay true to your goals! 
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I can’t give up. I can’t give up this place. I can’t give up that SOME day, I will win the battle of the bulge; for good. Not just for a few months or a year, but permanently.
AND, I have accepted that, at least for now, I need support and blogging to accomplish this. I was hoping that I could keep the weight off, without the crutch of blogging. I was wrong. OH so wrong.
So, this domain was 5 days from expiring. I had already made a New Year’s resolution to live HEALTHIER. No particular plan, no coy little branding or catch phrase, just plain, simple, scientific healthier living.
More fruits
More vegetables or at least more salads
Less sugar
More movement
This isn’t rocket science. We all know the principles. It’s the emotional crutches that make us leave what we know and can intellectually know is the right thing to do…and knee-jerk to problems and every day, normal (and the not so normal) stresses….with sugar. With not exercising. With doing all the things that AREN’T healthy.
So, part of living healthier in 2012 is admitting I need blogging to do it. I might have zero viewers, but I don’t care (much.) I need to work on myself. If others hop (back?) on the wagon with me; terrific. If not, so be it. I kinda made that bed so I have to lie in it.
Anyhow, I don’t know how often I will be posting. Certainly more regularly than in 2011. Not every day; that was my downfall before. But at least several times a week.
I have to get re-acquainted with some of my favorite bloggers at their sites, as well. Bear with me as I ease back into that. I’m not only balancing the healthier living back into my life, I need to keep a healthier blogging life balance, too.
So, here we go, yet again. Living up to my blog’s name. (although I will slightly alter the wording of the sub-title to this blog this weekend.)
I’m like a cockroach; refusing to die/give up.
Have a great day, and stay true to your goals!!!
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Yeah, I have to finally come to terms with it: I’m done blogging. I am an OCD Virgo; I don’t do anything half-arss. So, once I started blogging, I went full bore. TOO full bore. And then I crashed and burned (out.) I’ve tried a few times to come back, but each time I do, the guilt about doing it half ass takes over, and I stop. Again.
So it’s time to just own my evil (as I always, eventually, do)…and admit I’m just not cut out for this anymore. It certainly served a purpose a few years ago. It just doesn’t any more.
So/but, I will leave it up until the domain expires. I think that’s Dec. 17, or Jan. 17. One or the other. So if there is anything here of value to anyone, scoop it up while you can.
And after that, if you want to be in touch, I’m only an email or Facebook message away:
sunnieset@gmail.com
If you don’t have my facebook account info and want it, just email and let me know.
Take care and good luck in your journey in life. Thanks for sharing some time with me, in mine.
Oh, and here is my current photo; hair dye almost completely gone!
Take care, and be true to your goals!
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1. I don’t lose weight when I don’t blog.
2. Because not blogging is part of hiding from my ongoing weight issues.
3. Diets don’t work. Let me rephrase that; diets work for losing weight, they don’t work for me for maintaining that loss.
4. a summer off from dieting/watching what I ate was necessary for my mental health, but a detriment to my physical health.
5. deprivation works for losing weight, but I can’t live the rest of my life in a state of deprivation. I have to get better at portion control. It truly is the only thing that is going to have any chance of succeeding long term for me.
6. stopping exercise was stupid. Really stupid.
7. Being stupid isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, it’s fun to be stupid about not exercising and eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But now here I sit needing to lose to stay in my clothes. To lengthen my quality as well as my QUANTITY of life. Doh.
8. I’m not good at moderation. I’m too black or white. I need to get better at gray. If gray is good for my hair/my looks, then I better adopt it into the rest of my lifestyle, as well. As the old saying goes, ALL THINGS IN MODERATION.
9. Eating chocolate or any overeating or drinking booze onlytemporarily buries problems. But they have a tendency to rise up anyhow, like seeds with time, rain, and sunshine. Overeating, booze only delays dealing with problems, it doesn’t erase the problems.
So, I’m back. I can’t wait to get caught up with the handful of you fellow dieting bloggers I relate most closely to…and I DEEPLY apologize for pulling away from your blogs. But to read your blogs was to face my weight problems/gain, and I just needed a summer free of all of it. Which was pretty darned selfish. I own that evil.
I can’t really close my posts with “Stay true to your goals”, because I sucked so badly at it. I have to lose 40 lbs. There, I said it. So, for now at least, I’m switching my tagline to…
Be true to your goals just for today. We’ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
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I’ve been gone SO long. Gained some weight, hair about half grown out (silver/white/gray)…guess I need to decide whether to keep up this blog or not. Hmmmm….I’m SO out of the loop!
I got a really short haircut 2 months ago; they call them ‘pixie’ now. Here’s a shot this weekend…
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Went on vacation.
Fit in ‘the outfit.’
Spanx hurt more than the outfit. LOL
Came back from vacation.
Developed an inner ear viral bug that left me with such bad vertigo that I couldn’t go back to work for 2 days after the vacation.
Recovering as we speak. Vertigo gone, but still on the meds as a security blanket.
Re-thinking the need for a blog. I seem to have lost my blogging mojo when I discovered (free) Slotomania on facebook. LOL
Getting ready to close the quarter at work; so slammed.
Will catch up with everyone on the holiday weekend; I swear!
Have a great day, and stay true to your goals!
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Just CRAZY busy getting ready for the trip. Will catch up on everyone’s blog this weekend.
Have a great one, and stay true to your goals!
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