I guess it’s time to discuss letting one’s natural hair color emerge.  What shocked me most was what an INTERNAL transformation it was, as well!!!  Let me tell you, it takes a lot of guts to fly in the face of convention, as a woman of any age, and let your real white/gray/silver hair emerge.  For starters, it takes a lot of time.  Even if you move to a ‘pixie’ short haircut as I did, it still takes at the very minimum, 4-6 months. That is a LOT of days of looking in the mirror and seeing a skunk stripe or montage of hair colors.  It ain’t pretty, and it ain’t for the weakly convicted.  (some women attempt this several times before they have the courage to see it through to the end.  I was lucky enough to make it the first attempt.)   My hair growth slowed down considerably as the days grew shorter, and it ended up being over an eight month process for me.  But WAY beyond that, is learning:

1.  how to stick up for your beliefs

2.  how to teach others-by either just actions, or actions AND words- to let you be YOU.

3.  how to totally redefine your own self image.  And this goes way beyond just the color of your hair.

4.  what new colors in clothes AND make-up work best with your new hair color.  Because believe me, it’s different.

5.  how to accept that you aren’t 20 anymore, and should stop trying to pretend that you are.

6.  how to not be afraid of your future.

I’m not going to discuss all of that right now; I’ll tackle most of those topics at a later date.  Right now, I just want to talk about deciding to start the journey to natural hair colors from decades of dying your hair.

There are many ways that women choose to handle the emotional and physical journey to natural hair color.  (Because trust me, it’s even more of an emotional journey as it is a physical hair-color journey!)  Each woman has to go the route that works best for HER.  Some prefer to hide the fact as long as possible; ponytail, hats, even wigs. A few really brave souls just buzz it and get it done with.  Some, like me, wait 3-4 months, then cut as short as they dare to shorten the length of time of the transition.  The bravest of all (especially those with lots of curls), just refuse to cut their hair and wait a year or two for the full length to grow out!   Then there is how, community-wise in their own worlds, to handle it.  Some let it show, but don’t mention it unless asked pointedly.  But for me, it was all about ‘a good offense is the best defense.’  In other words, rather than let friends/co-workers wonder if I was just slow in re-coloring, or getting lazy, or ‘letting myself go’, I proactively all but shouted from the roof tops:  I’m going to let my natural hair color grow out!  I’m DONE coloring!”  and best of all, “I’m EXCITED and JAZZED about this transition!  I can’t wait to be done!”

This served two purposes for me:

1.  it cut off instantly any doubts about what I was or wasn’t doing, and why… and

2.  it let everyone know this wasn’t up for debate.  Discussion yes, but ‘try to change my mind’ debate?  A resounding NO.

This was me.  This was a choice I made on my own.  It was a choice I felt good about, once I finally made it, and, in essence, I was basically living my decision with the attitude of ‘don’t any of you dare stand in my way and try to talk me out of it.  You won’t change my mind.’  I didn’t say it to anyone, I LIVED it.

I spent enough of my life as a doormat.  “Thanks” to menopause, those doormat days are over.  I am outspoken.  I stand up for my beliefs.  I am woman, hear me roar!  Now, on the internet, that comes across a lot stronger than I actually do in real life.  Otherwise I’d have no friends.  LOL  But by gosh, this decision was decades in the making, and once I had made the decision, that was IT.  (I’m not much good at emotional shades of gray, post-menopause, either.  Black or white for me.  No puns intended.  LOL) 

Once I’d committed, and found ‘the right time’ to do it for myself, there was-for me-never any moments of regret.  I waited until I was nearly 60, but once I decided, I blazed my path.  Sure, I had some naysayers.  Thank God, not my husband, nor my mother.  But just about everyone else; my daughters, co-workers, friends.  Some just said “are you sure it won’t age you?”  Some were braver/crueler with “no one looks better with gray or silver or white hair.  It’s going to make you look older.”  I mostly just laughed them all off.  I had found goinggraylookinggreat.com, and knew better.   (the website has changed now, but it’s still very informational for those of you who want to start to go down this path.)   Tons of women had not only NOT looked older, they frankly looked younger, happier, more at peace!  Who doesn’t want THAT?

Let’s face it, our skin changes as it ages.  And part of that process is that our coloring changes.  Continuing to dye your hair starts to make a big contrast between the coloring of your face, and whatever hair dye choice you make.  Because, in my opinion, Mother Nature or God gets it right.  When your hair starts to lose the color that you were born with, your complexion is changing too.  By accepting and flaunting the natural color of your hair now, you begin to match complexion to hair, and that’s always a beautiful thing.  I could show you tons of women’s before and after photos, and almost every single one looks younger, happier, fresher, more beautiful in the after than in the dyed hair.  However, I don’t have their permission to post their photos, so I won’t.

The funny thing, though?  Once you decide to go down this path, you become kind of obsessed with noticing other people that should, but haven’t.  Again, every woman must decide for herself when/if to do this, but honestly, there are millions that should, right now, and haven’t.  It gets pretty easy to spot the women (and men) who would benefit from letting their natural hair color shine.  And that’s not even talking about the other benefits from doing this:

1.  hair and scalp becomes MUCH healthier!  Thinning hair stops/hair thickens again, and the shine!!!  Scalp becomes a healthy pink.

2.  you stop all the awful chemical assault on your hair, head, body.  Chemicals that yes, can and do kill or harm with awful allergic reactions that can be devastating, even after years of never a problem.

Again, every woman has to decide when the time is right.  But I promise you, once you go down that path, you will NOT regret it.  And you will be simply amazed how many women and yes, ESPECIALLY men will comment on how much more attractive you have become.

Anyhow, that’s my sermon for the day.  LOL

Have a great day and stay true to your goals!

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